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20121001
20121031
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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 169 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 4, 2012 1:00am PDT
york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. good one for you tonight. we've got kentucky senator rand paul joining us, obviously name for his father's favorite philosopher, rand mcnallly. a short time ago president obama and governor romney wrapped up their first debate. who knows if they even had the debate with yesterday's bombshell. full day, drudge-con one, blue siren alert, obama race video. hannity had the exclusive. >> tonight you will hear from barack obama like you have never heard from him before. a video has been uncovered from a campaign event in 2007 of then-candidate obama. it contains some of the most divisive class warfare and rarlly charged rhetoric ever use by barack obama. >> jon: casually tossing out words like honky, white trash, o-fay, spf-45 wearing mother... the video had been widely covered when the event occurred in 2007, but that doesn't matter. i'll let hannity's guest explain. >> people say, this has alread
Comedy Central
Oct 3, 2012 10:00am PDT
oh, my god, yeah! ♪ hey, it's fluffy! >> jon: hey, everybody! welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, liam neeson, the star of "taken, 2: the tookning." (laughter) continuing with our lineup of guests that are three times the size of me. (laughter) who did we have on last night? who was on the show last night? schwarzenegger! i don't watch this show so -- (laughter). schwarzenegger. we had -- amar'e stoudemire, liam nissan, oe kwraoeully. there's not one guest this pass month whose ass i can kick. (laughter) does dr. ruth still do shows? (laughter) let's begin tonight with the urgent issue of in-person voter fraud which, by all accounts, is nonexistent but nevertheless -- (laughter). a major concern for all americans. particularly in swing states controlled by republican legislatures like pennsylvania's voter i.d. law. what is the purpose of that law again pennsylvania's republican house majority leader? >> voter i.d. which is going to allow governor romney to win the state of pennsylvania. done. >> jon: but hey -- (laughter). -- this is just between
Comedy Central
Oct 24, 2012 7:30pm PDT
captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart. got a good one for you tonight. our guest gerard butler has a new film "facing mavericks." it's a film following sarah palin around. (laughter) whatever happened to that lady? i don't know. let's begin tonight with last night's presidential debate in boca raton, florida, which is spanish for "rat's mouth." (laughter) and yiddish for "heaven's waiting room." (laughter and applause) this is the third and-- thank god-- final debate between barack obama and mitt romney. to topic, foreign policy. bad news for president obama because -- >> in the history of presidents of the united states, he's our worst at foreign policy. >> this is a very weak ill-conceived foreign policy. every place you look is failure. >> the jimmy carter years look like the good old days compared to where we are right now. >> the president has communicated weakness. >> jon: weakness in foreign policy! obama is weaker than coolidge in foreign policy! weaker than pol
Comedy Central
Oct 30, 2012 10:00am PDT
are right now. >> the president has communicated weakness. >> jon: weakness in foreign policy! obama is weaker than coolidge in foreign policy! weaker than polk! weaker than president flinchington j. craphispants. (laughter) as you know, the only president in united states history who ever had his wallet stolen by a baby. (laughter) you don't hear as much about old president craphispants. (laughter) but given obama's foreign policy record, this debate is going to be a bloodbath. >> i congratulate him on taking out osama bin laden. drones are being used in drone strikes and i support that entirely. and feel the president was right. i want to underscore the same point the president made. i felt the same as the president did. i supported his action there. absolutely the right thing to do to have crippling sanctions. (cheers and applause) >> jon: i think romney's leaning obama! (laughter) apparently romney is one of this year's coveted swing voters. look, how closely did mitt romney align himself with what had, i guess up until last night, been the worst foreign policy ever? listen to th
Comedy Central
Oct 11, 2012 1:00am PDT
in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. we've got a great show for you tonight. thank you. in my-- in my continuing effort to make myself look as much like a keebler elf as possible, our guest tonight magic johnson will be joining us. ( applause ) have we had anybody-- i think flaft two weeks have, we had anybody under, like, 6'6" on the show? everybody that's been on the show gives me a ride home in their pocket. ( laughter ) let's juch right into the big story with our continuing coverage of democalypse 2012. ( laughter ) >> i-- i hope you have dolby at home. because that's-- ( laughter ) folks, election watchers are always poised this late in the campaign season for what they refer to as an october surprise. it appears that time is upon us. as evidenced by the recent presidential debate where barack obama unveiled his explosive october surprise that he has given up. ( laughter ). surprise! ( applause ) even the president acknowledged to his less-than-stellar performance. >> af
Comedy Central
Oct 2, 2012 1:00am PDT
show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment for both campaigns and they are going all out preparing. >> president obama and governor mitt romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical falsie. >> not in the face! not in the face! get
Comedy Central
Oct 1, 2012 7:30pm PDT
(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a good one for you tonight. the actress olivia wilde, star of the new movie "butter" will be here. she's going to churn up. . . some. . . excitement. (laughter) i hate myself. let's begin tonight with a crisis rocking this nation. >> a huge outcry, millions talking about it, tweeting, facebooking about it, it's gone viral. >> the two sides are locked basically in this labor dispute. >> jon: a labor dispute! yes, as it was in the days of the triangle shirtwaist factory and the pinkerton boys. a labor dispute has once again taught americans about the irreplaceable value of working men and women. >> chicago standoff. teachers now say they will not be back today as their strike enters its second week. >> jon: not that labor dispute. (laughter) irreplaceable working men! not lazy public sector-- fattened on gift apples and lounging in their faculty lounges with their chalky fingers and mugs! (laughter) all of which proclaim they to be the world's greatest teacher! there can be only one! (l
Comedy Central
Oct 9, 2012 7:30pm PDT
show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. great show for you tonight. our guest tonight legendary guitarist pete townsend will be joining us. ( cheers and applause ) one of my all-time heroes. quick story fallout from the rumble on saturday night. obviously other than for people who couldn't download it, i apologize for that. it turns out the internet is a series of tubes. if you stuff too much in one tube, it won't... but it turns out my kids watched and apparently the phrase "bull [bleep] mountain" was awfully popular with my son who is eight years old. apparently not as popular with my wife. in terms of him using it. so, i drove home the next day from washington. i got to the house. i greeted everybody. i was so excited to be home. i noticed my son was sitting across the room giving me the stink eye. giving me one of these. and so i go, hey, nate, what's up, man? he goes, "you should watch what you say." i was like, "what do you mean?" he goes, "kids could see that and use that language and they could get in real
Comedy Central
Oct 18, 2012 11:00pm PDT
>> jon: to discuss issues they think about? but not that it mattered anyway because apparently during the debate the ladies had already left the building. >> it was just too much to talk like two roosters going at each other. it can turn off women. >> one thing women voters don't like is an a bully. >> a turn-off for women. >> i'm not sure they'll be turned on by this debate. >> lots of women turn off. >> i'm wondering if suburban women were turned off. [laughter] >> jon: not that that's a bad thing because as far as i can tell they've been a little hopped up on this thing. [laughter] way too long. for on women's reaction i'm joined by senior debate analyst, samantha bee. you saw it and watched tuesday night. what did you think of the debate? >> well the media nailed it jon. told turnoff. on tuesday night i personally didn't take in any of the policy specifics because as a woman i was too appalled at how rude and belligerent they were to each other and the nice waitress tries to calm them down. [laughter] >> nuh-uh. >> you mean the debate moderator, candy crowley. >> yeah, right, a la
Comedy Central
Oct 17, 2012 11:00pm PDT
what happened. >> jon: okay. in fact, obama's publicly financed detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite permanent. so the big question would be: which version of barack obama would respond. the first debate, sleepy time ma gill cutty or pretty talk jones. >> candy, what governor romney said just isn't true. >> jon: it's alive! it's alive! [cheering and applause] whoa, whoa. yes, president barack obama decided to attend this debate. [laughter] and the two candidates could finally have a truthful, substantive discussion about how much they [bleeped] hate each other. [laughter] >> governor, we have actually produced more oil. >> no, no, how much did you cut licenses and permits on federal land and federal... >> production is up. >> it's down. >> no it isn't. >> production on government land and oil is down 14%. >> governor, what you're saying just not true. >> you'l
Comedy Central
Oct 22, 2012 10:00am PDT
for little michael and candy junior. >> jon: you dont bear to watch the debate. >> yes, we're women. we don't like it when people argue on television. cue. no thanks. >> jon: real housewives is a series. like the most popular series amongst women. all that is is arguing. >> that's different. a, it's not staged like a debate and b, when two women night it's girl on girl. it's natural and beautiful. [laughter] >> when two guys do it it's just gross. it's such a turnoff, god. >> jon: right there. turnoff. you would never hear a pundit saying i would never find the debate a turnoff in dating terms. like turn on and turn off. >> they need to convince the candidates need to be court and women have rational creatures and men use just this organ here. the one i'm pointed too. [laughter] >> jon: for women life is just one big turnon, turn off, playboy questionnaire? >> that's what we use in place of resumes. we all fill them out when we turn 18 whether you get chosen to pose or not. >> jon: it seems like if that's the case it would be impossible to have a spirited debate. >> that's ridiculou
Comedy Central
Oct 12, 2012 7:30pm PDT
>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." yeah, that's right. it's really just scribbles. [ laughter ] my name is jon stewart. director paul thomas anderson is joining us to talk about his new film "the master" which is in no way a devastating critique of anything. [ laughter ] is that good enough? will they leave us alone now? tonight, of course, was the vice presidential debate. shocking development, nobody saw this coming, both vice presidential candidates tonight on national coming out day came out simultaneously during the debate. [ laughter ] the real winners tonight, two lucky fellas to be named later. [ laughter ] you know, we spend a lot of time talking about the choices for president and vice president. some express frustration with limited options. did you know that the four men that we have are by far the cream of crop in washington or as we refer it to the cream of crap. [ laughter ] we salute the
Comedy Central
Oct 17, 2012 1:00am PDT
my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight filmmaker eugene jarecki. the new movie about the war on drugs. for the many wars america is currently fighting, the along with the war on christmas, war on women and there's one more -- it will come to me. [ laughter ] afghanistan, i think, i don't know. christmas is the big one. obviously tonight was the second presidential debate which i totally watched. [ laughter ] and it's not taking place until three hours after we tape the show. i can't believe mitt romney cut off obama's hand and then told him he was his father. [ laughter ] first, election day three weeks away. or to put that another way, i cannot believe this thing is still three weeks away. we examine the nation's emotional state in the nation's new segment "please for the love of god, make it stop." controversy once again tonight. vice presidential candidate paul ryan at a campaign stop in georgia -- kidding he was in ohio. is there another state other than (bleep) ohio? not in october there isn't. [ laughter ] ryan seen here in photos he for some reason signed a release for
Comedy Central
Oct 16, 2012 11:00pm PDT
. and only after the patrons had left the place. [ laughter ] >> jon: do you know how hard it is to make volunteering at a homeless shelter look like a negative thing and how dead inside does a national presidential campaign make you that you could be handed clean dishes and instead of saying, you know these are clean right, you go, where is my scrubby sponge. there's more. >> as we understand it now there were dirty dishes left for him. it was originally reported they were clean. our team is reporting dirty dishes. >> jon: great work, team. [ laughter ] we'll have more on the status of these dishes later on in the program. apparently ryan did wash dishes but they were set aside and left unclean specifically so they could take pictures of him selflessly washing so so that we -- because we're so do you mean -- believe he was caught in the act of volunteering. later food was held from nursing home patients so ryan could al riff and reanimate them through the magic of applesauce. [ laughter ] even cynical help is help for the shelter. >> the head of the faith-based organization told the pos
FOX News
Oct 18, 2012 11:00am EDT
. she was in new delhi, she got her heel stuck in the grass. i hate when that happens. jon: me too. >> very hard to walk on grass. once in a while that happens. we'll see you tomorrow. jenna: right now brand-new stories and breaking. jon: 19 days, can you believe it until the election and a new poll showing governor romney leading the president by a statistically significant margin for the first time in this race. for weeks we've known about tainted drugs from one pharmacy shipped to clinics across the country. why are more people getting kick and dying of meningitis? we'll ask our medical a-teamers. should schools bana popular snack saying flamin hot cheetos will be confiscated if students bring them to school? the controversy has some folks boiling mad. that story and breaking news "happening now." good morning to you on this thursday. i'm jon scott. jenna: it would nice to have cheetos on set so we could investigate properly. jon: you're making me hungry. jenna: there are a lot of topics to bet to today. we are glad you are with us. i'm jenna lee. 19 days until election day. and
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 169 (some duplicates have been removed)